Dear precious Chosen,

This is the story of how we named you...

I was surprised again to have a little boy, but not as surprised as I was with our last little boy. I was shocked with him. The Lord had placed on my heart and showed me Grace every where. I mean every where! This happened 2 months before I knew I was expecting our fourth child. I remember that time clearly. I was extremely overwhelmed with the young children we had at the time. Every mother can relate to this. We had two girls and one boy and we were done having babies. But, that year our hearts knew we were not done. I couldn't imagine having any more children. My health was at an all time low. I had put my mother and children first for so long. I didn't think my body could handle carrying another baby. So we thought if it is the Lord's will we will have another one day waaaaay down the road when we have had time to recover and we could begin to live life again. Having our children back to back and caring for my mom on nightly treatments was just plain rough. There was no support through friends or family. We were tied down to our home. It was and still is at times plain nuts. But, looking back and even now I see God's hand in it all. God uses our suffering to mold us into something beautiful.

So as I said God showed us Grace every where, but especially me. It was just every where I went. I had not yet told my husband this and he came to me one day and said I don't know why but I just started sketching the word Grace. I KNEW God was up to something, but was clueless that it was a baby. When I told my mom, she laughed and said oh boy you must be having a baby soon. I laughed! Oh no not right now. I said maybe God is showing me I will have a baby waaaaaay down the road. I continued to see Grace. Two months later we found out we were expecting... God used this pregnancy to heal allot in me as a mother. The first thing he did was guarding my broken down body. I noticed I did not have allot of the ailments I did with prior pregnancies and could see him protecting me. I felt that protection through my pregnancy. Through the whole pregnancy I had a whole new outlook and soooo full of joy. In the last days of pregnancy I went over my due date by two weeks and two days I think. God sustained me and I did in fact marvel in his Grace for me. When we had Honor I was overwhelmed with the need to praise him through labor. When he was born I was completely shocked that he was a boy, but more then me being shocked at that I was overwhelmed at how peaceful he was. God used his infancy to heal me as a mother and put a deep desire in me for another child and of course my promised Grace. He was nameless for the first 5 days. But, God showed us clearly through seeking him we were to name him Honor Virtue. We had a deep desire to Honor God and to live a virtuous life. This is what are hopes were for Honor too, to grow up to Honoring his Lord and to be a virtuous man of God. I think of my sons as being strong Godly warriors for Christ. That is what a real man is to me.

So I was a bit shocked when he was a boy and not my Grace. With each of my children God has always showed me what I was having and blessed me a clear name for them. I knew God did show me Grace and I was suppose to have her, but at the time I did not fully understand why he had given me a son?

With this pregnancy, again God protected my body and this was the very easiest pregnancy out of 5 pregnancies! I again marveled in the Grace he bestowed on me. I didn't pray for a boy's name because I believed it would be my Grace again. My promised Grace. God did not show me Grace every where the whole pregnancy like he did with Honor, but he did give me this verse one day when I was reading. To me again reminding me he was giving me Grace.

Galatians 1:15
But even before I was born, God chose me and called me by his marvelous grace. Then it pleased him.

Looking back now I see where God knew in his wonderful plans that I would think I was having Grace again.

When little Chosen was born I wasn't quite as shocked this time. lol Three men of God! He has given me THREE sons! How much more could a mother be blessed then to have three sons who would be warriors for God? And my husband is blessed with three sons! I was excited to see what the Lord would show us for his name. I couldn't imagine what he would possibly come up with. He showed us Chosen almost instantly, but we didn't know right away that that was suppose to be his name. I looked up Chosen in the bible and this is one of the first verses I read. I just knew when I saw this, Oh wow this has so much meaning behind it. This is it!

11 Furthermore, because of Christ, we have received an inheritance from God,for he chose us from the beginning, and all things happen just as he decided long ago.
12 God's purpose was that we who were the first to trust in Christ should praise our glorious God.13 And now you have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own* by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago.14 The Spirit is God's guarantee that he will give us the everything he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. This is just one more reason for us to praise our glorious God.

So now the adventure into his middle name.....Please read this story first! It brings meaning to the whole picture.

NO LONGER MISSING

"Jonathan is missing."

I was showering when I heard these words. I knew God was telling me we were going to have a son and we were to name him "Jonathan". Only a handful of times in my life have I heard God's "still, small voice" speak to me like this.

It was about this time, when our third child was a baby, that God also led us to surrender to Him the number and spacing of our children. This was an act of obedience. It was the scariest thing I have ever done! 2 Corinthians 5:15 became very real to me, "And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." I have since come to see how stepping out in obedience brings great blessings even when we don't see it at the time.

Less than two years later, our fourth child was born. Surprise! It wasn't Jonathan, but Sarah Joy. Nineteen months later, Susannah, our fifth, came along. Still no Jonathan. Both girls were very special gifts and we were thrilled. I was sure I had heard God, but wondered why He had told me so soon

Almost two years later, December 27, 2003, Jonathan entered the world! We all so enjoyed having another baby around the house and he loved the constant attention and praise of his big brother, sisters, Daddy and Mommy, grandparents, relatives…and anyone else drawn to his radiant smile and charismatic personality.

When he was 17 months old we found out another blessing from the Lord was on the way. We were excited, but I felt overwhelmed. I struggled enough with being a good mother to six precious children--how was I going to be a good enough mother to seven? God settled my fears one nauseous Sunday morning during our worship service. That "still, small voice" spoke again to my heart, "I'm not doing this to make life hard on you, but I have a greater plan than you can know or understand." All fears were immediately put to rest. God had spoken and I believed Him. I rested in the truth that this new baby was part of His perfect plan. What joy filled my soul! I felt these words were not only for my present state but also preparing me for what was soon to come

About two weeks after Jonathan turned two (two weeks before baby number seven was to be born), he suddenly gripped his head and began to cry. In a few minutes he was vomiting and then fell unconscious. My husband arrived before the ambulance. We all prayed over him and waited. I sang to him all the way to the hospital, though he never gained consciousness. The emergency room staff said that Jonathan's condition was very serious and prepared him to be flown to a more equipped hospital. I didn't realize just how serious. My husband and I drove there and were met by my parents and some very dear friends.

Throughout that sleepless night we received reports from the neurologist. He was diagnosed with an AVM--arterial venal malformation. It had burst and there was much hemorrhaging in the brain. They tried all they could but finally told us nothing more could be done. In between procedures, we sang to him, touched him and played the game we always played-- telling him of all the people, and mostly God, who loved him. He never regained consciousness and was on life support. About eighteen hours after he first held his head and cried, the machines were unplugged and his body stopped.

I had never really understood what grace meant until this event. I see a little more clearly now. Our hearts were rent in two and the pain felt almost unbearable. But we were able to trust in our loving, sovereign Lord and, by His awesome grace, we were able to surrender Jonathan to His perfect will--a greater plan that I had not known.

The hospital room in the PICU became full of loving friends and family but even more so, the Presence of the living, loving God! What a time of worship we had even as the machines were unplugged and I held our little son whose spirit had already departed into the hands of our Savior and Lord. How our hearts ached for him!

By God's awesome grace and through the prayers of our brothers and sisters in Christ, we never fought Him over His perfect plan. In Isaiah 45:11 we read "'This is what the Lord says–the Holy One of Israel, and it's Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands?'" Jonathan belonged to God. We were blessed to be used by God to create this eternal soul who will worship our Lord and Savior for ever and ever. We got to nurture, love and teach him while he was on the earth, but he (and each of our precious children) belongs to God, not us. We are stewards for the King who makes no mistakes. What joy comes from total surrender to the One who alone is worthy!

God has blessed our children with a beautiful healing, though they still love and miss their brother. He has graciously given us an "eternal perspective" which we didn't have before. God is good and His ways are perfect. How could we want anything different than His perfect plan, even if it is difficult? I pray that we will always surrender everything we hold dear to the One who has a better plan that we can ever know

We know that Jonathan is not missing anymore. He's right where he is supposed to be.

Eight days after Jonathan went home, God filled our hands and our hearts with his baby sister, Johanna Glory. On Jonathan's first birthday after his death, we were able to tell his siblings that God had another gift on the way. Josiah Newman was born September 5^th, 2007. God's plan is uniquely designed for each family and person to bring Him glory and accomplish His specific purposes. It is always good and perfect.

CJRISTINE JOSEPH

Lexington, Virginia, USA

josephds@vmi.edu

I wanted something that brought meaning to Chosen and flowed with the meaning of Chosen. This took 4 or so days. I was frustrated wondering where is the name? I happened to be reading a book called SURRENDER. hahaha And didn't even catch on to it. It was when I read this story from the Above Rubies magazine that a light bulb went off as soon as I first started reading it. I was touched by this mother's story of the loss of her son. Even more then the great loss of loosing a child I was more touched by their relationship with the Lord. They were able to give their child to the Lord, because they had first learned in life the value of Surrendering to God. The importance for us to surrender. We can not have the blessing of his salvation until we first surrender ourselves to Christ.

So when I first started reading I saw Surrender and thought oh wow, that is a possible middle name. By the end of the story I was so blessed by it and I knew this was it! Not only that, but she also heard God's voice. He had showed her she would have this son. She ended up having two daughters first. Baby 4 and 5. Just like me, but God has promised me the exact opposite. I felt like he was showing me ( I already believed and didn't doubt that God showed me Grace) and reaffirming that Grace would come one day and he had a reason behind having these two sons. I believe part of the reason is because he used these sons to bless us as parents. We never knew we were destined to have this big family full of precious faces. Now we KNOW we are not done and our life has changed drastically in an amazing way. As our quiver has gotten fuller and fuller. This past year God brought Aaron home to us to raise these precious kids. Each child is a even more of a miracle to us. We are basking in his blessings.... So this is where Chosen Surrender comes from.

Aaron and Autumn